


Change The Fates' Design

by WynterOwens



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: 'Canon', F/F, F/M, It will be confusing, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WynterOwens/pseuds/WynterOwens
Summary: High school was confusing.Hardly anyone would argue with that.Things tended to get more confusing when you don't do what destiny says.Or make the choice to stay quiet.Or make the choice to speak out rather than keep your words to yourself.When things don't go how the canon wants, what happens to you?





	Change The Fates' Design

  _**There are no wrong turns. Only new paths we didn't know we'd find.** _

First day of senior year, everything was starting to match up perfectly to what Canon wanted. Canon was what was known as the Alpha Timeline. Where things go down because that was just how it was written. Nothing could change in the Alpha Timeline. Nothing. But could you ever be sure?

Evan had gone to school with Jared, tried to make friends, and let himself be shoved over by the tall figure labelled Connor Murphy. His chest was wracked with fear, but the Canon was content. Things were going to plan. What was destined to happen next was the kicker. As Canon hoped, Connor would become upset by Evan's crush on his sister and storm out. Three days later, he was to kill himself and launch forward a train wreck of lies and internet sensation.

But here's how it went...

What hadn't been counted on was Evan second guessing himself for too long. The letter, that famous letter to himself, was on the screen in front of him, and he was hesitating on printing it up. He sounded too real. There was too much on there that he didn't know if he was ready to share. That, and with his therapist? He didn't know if he could do it. Clicking 'Cancel' instead of print, Evan changed lives. He altered the timeline for good when he exited out of the Word doc. and sat back to stare at the blank desktop.

"Hey-Uh.. Evan, right?"

"Evan." Two for two, today. This time, this reaction wasn't from romantic distraction but by honest confusion.

"Yeah. That's your name isn't it?"

All Evan can do is nod, face falling to earnest realization, "Yes- Yeah, I'm.. Uh, I'm Evan."

"Cool." Connor stood there, taking a peek at Evan's blank desktop. "Uh, anyway. I just wanted to apologize for shoving you."

"I-It's fine, really. I just.. I mean, I'm sorry you were upset. I-I probably should ha-"

"What happened to your arm?" Connor stopped listening after Evan told him it was fine. It really wasn't fine, and usually he would have argued that. But getting into another altercation with this kid didn't sound too fun, the brunet decided to just change the topic instead.

"Oh- I, uh.. I fell out of a tree, and I broke it," The smaller boy explained, gesturing to his arm slightly more than necessary. He looked like there was more that he wanted to say (Evan didn't want to try telling Connor the same thing he attempted to tell Jared earlier, though. Why would Connor care? Especially if Jared didn't). Yet, he closed his mouth and didn't make any more effort, so Connor went with it.

"No one.. No one has signed your cast, yet."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I-It's fine."

"I'll sign it."

"What?"

"What?" Connor echoed, feeling something prickle in his chest. Did Evan not think he was capable of being nice or signing his name somewhere? Before he could continue, the tail end of a whisper from Evan made itself present in his head.

"... The only one to offer?" Once again, he echoed the sandy haired boy. This time, he felt a bit raw. A bit confused. "That's the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard."

"Ah- Yeah, I know, but it's okay. I-I didn't.. I tried asking a couple people, but it didn't really work out, you know?" Evan gave a nervous chuckle.

"Here," The brunet got a little excited and accidentally pulled Evan's arm roughly; instead of apologizing, he just hurried with what he was doing. This resulted in Connor's name being written in large letters across the expanse of the cast.

Looking at the John Hancock-esque signature, Evan breathed, "Oh- Thanks."

"Yeah. This way we can both pretend we have friends."

Then, there was a look. No interruptions over a letter Evan wrote to himself or any more conversation to add for this one moment. A moment where Evan dared to make eye contact, meeting hetachromatic eyes with a wide gaze. Both boys weren't vulnerable, yet at the same time they were. Evan's gaze allowed access to his mind and feelings. Connor was a bit more subtle, gaze searching yet honest. There was a guard still present, especially as his face tightened.

Then, the Incredibly Cool Jared Klienmann made his entrance.

"I'm not going to wait in the parking lot for forever while you play with Connie Columbine over here," His voice was dry, with a tone of something that Evan couldn't name. Not that he had too much time to think before pain sank in.

Connor had a death grip on the injured boy's arm, squeezing the cast in a way that nearly made it bend. 

"U-Uh- Well, I- My.. M-My mom, actually," The blond's voice was hardly anything but a squeak. He was in pain and concerned that Connor would lose his temper again and maybe hurt him.

The way Evan was bending forward and trying to cradle his arm made it a bit more obvious to Connor to let go, which the boy did with a short mumble of an apology.

"What about your mom?" Jared called the attention back, eyes narrowed on the boys in the computer lab. "If you're not leaving with me, you could have at least texted me."

"Why should he? You'd bitch about it either way, whether he went home with you or not," Connor scoffed.

"Last I checked, this isn't any of your business. Besides, it's not as though you'd know the feeling. No one cares about you enough to be your friend or give you a ride home," The quip brought too much silence. Evan's chest felt beyond restricted, and the boy backed away.

"Family friend," Evan corrected on habit of what Jared would say, and then, he made towards the exit. "My mom is picking me up today. I didn't... Honestly, I hadn't gotten the chance t-to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm g-going to go now."

"Let me know when you get home," Jared sighed, turning to leave the room with Evan. Of course, this left the shorter boy to get ahead while Evan was called back.

Connor hung onto the doorway to the computer lab, arms lax but form uncertain. It was obvious that he was trying to contain his anger from Jared's remarks. "Hey. Ah.. Put this number into your phone."

Evan hardly had a chance to pull out his phone before the taller teen began to rattle off a phone number. "Ah- Slow down, please. I-I.. S-Seven-Three-Four... Okay."

"Just send, "Hi, it's Evan" so that I know it's you," The boy quirked a small grin as he watched Evan do as he was told and  _then_ realize what Connor meant by it. The rosy color that overtook Evan's face was hilarious, and it almost had Connor ruffling the boy's hair before Evan scampered off like a frightened deer. The small squeak that he supposed would have been a goodbye was the final piece to melt the anger he'd had in his breast. "See ya, Hansen."

\-----------

Naturally, for Connor, good things could never last. 

That fraction of a good mood faded as soon as he pulled up outside his house. He knew what was coming. That same, familiar feeling of resentment that he never fully understood.

The very second he got through the door, he wished everyone around him was dead.

His father's dismissing yet disapproving look was enough to add an itch to his bones. How could someone be that apathetic? Connor was aware he was a fuck-up and didn't give a shit about a lot of people nor did he deserve a lot of care. His arms screamed that he knew it. But he also knew, deep down inside himself, that he was still his father's son. That maybe he deserves something? Some sort of recognition? But he never got a single bit of it. No high fives or fist bumps, or even a lecture on sports.

His mom was.. Well, she was fake. At least, that's what he thought. She tried so hard to be a kind, supporting mother and be there for her kids. That was so the family could look good to their extended relatives and strangers on the street. It has something to do with her own morals. She has herself sold on this idea of a perfect mother, and she can't let herself be anything else. Normally, one would respond with pity to that, right? No. Connor was pissed, because she tried so hard even while no one cared about it. Not even him.

Then, there was Zoe.

Frequently, he'd be at her throat about something. Most of the time, it was while he was high and pissed off. There was one time where he threatened to kill her because she ate the last ice cream or something stupid like that. 

She also had a tendency to get in his face, too. The younger Murphy knew that the apathy and discouragement Connor received hurt him, so she used that to her advantage to make off-hand comments at him. But she was willing to give him a chance, too. That is, every once in a while. Not right now, judging by the way she stormed to her room the first glance she had at him.

Pausing outside her door, Connor examined the dents there, loitering as he thought on it. All the shit that he had done to her.. There was no way he could ever make that up. Anything between him and his parents was fixable. But like the many imperfections he'd made to Zoe's bedroom door, even if he fixed some things, there would still be damage and distrust. There was no way to start over.

He couldn't help it, getting pissed at himself and the irritating environment he was surrounded by.

By the time he got his room, he hardly remembered Evan as more than just a face in the crowds of people he saw. His mind was numbed by the toxicity in the air as he locked the door behind him and went over to his desk. Taking off his hoodie, Connor froze, then eased to just sit still, and he observed the span of his arms. Every dark brown mark, white scar, faded burn, deep red scab. There wasn't any more room to do anything else. 

With a sigh, Connor turned to his other coping mechanism, and he cursed at the fact he was out of pre-rolls. 

After a half an hour of having to roll and re-roll fresh herb, Connor got tired and lit what he had. The blunt was loose, but he was done wasting his time. He smoked around half of it, giving himself an easy high. 

This was the good kind of weed, though. Sweet, with an uplifting high. It had enough positivity in it for the long-haired boy to relax a bit. Sure, he wasn't smiling or goofing around like he would if he had the whole thing, but he was content as he cracked into a new book he'd picked out Zoe's room two weeks ago.

With no concept of time clicking in his mind, the teen didn't stop reading until he finished the book. He hardly even noticed the sticky notes he'd left himself, handwriting disoriented and clumsy. Still legible, though. It wasn't too late, but he'd definitely missed dinner.

Now, he didn't mind the food. Food sounded great, and he was hungry. He just minded the walk and the thought of moving. After chilling for this long, he didn't want to get up. Regardless, he supposed he could at least grab a snack.

Before Connor got up from his desk chair, a loud vibrating noise shook him from his daze. His phone.. just went off. What the fuck?

**_Hey its the Insanely Cool one. im on evan's phone bc he forgot to text you earlier._ **

**_i decided to text for him bc hes in the shower_ **

_Htanks, dude._

**_OMG how fucked r u??_ **

_Excuse me_

**_How fucked up are you right now?_ **

**_What the hell was that grammar?_ **

**_How high are you, Connor?_ **

_6 foot_

**_holy shit_ **

**_thats perfect_ **

**_OMG that was so worth it_ **

_You're weclome_

**_dude, go the fuck to sleep_ **

**_lmao_ **

_K._

What Connor didn't comprehend at the time was what Jared was laughing at. Or why he was using Evan's phone. Or why his grammar had anything to do with saying hello or having any sort of conversation. Especially when Jared seemed to have even worse grammar.

On a brighter note, which was nicer to think about, Connor had Evan's number now. He may actually have a pretend friend. And, who knows? That could lead to him actually having a real friend. 

For now, without much else to do since he'd forgotten what he was going to do, Connor chose to move over to his bed and head into a blissful dreamland. Though, it wasn't as much blissful as it was numbing and refreshing the exhausted feeling resting in his form.

By morning, there was no telling what he'd feel.

\-----------

"So- So, he fucking said "6 foot" like a truly high person," Jared gushed, laughing.

Evan couldn't help but be a little confused, smiling along in a nervous manner. The joke itself was funny: "How high are you?" "*Insert height of person here*". But, what Evan didn't get was, how did Jared get Connor's number? Let alone, put it on his own phone as well? A few times, the blond tried to ask, but Jared was laughing and trying to tell the story.

"-This is why you shouldn't leave your phone unprotected."

"U-Unprotected? I have a password- A-A very difficult password!"

"Difficult for you, child's play for me," Jared grinned, holding up the off-brand touchscreen phone and waving it. 

For once in the longest time, the boys wrestled. More due to the fact that Evan was freaking out and needed his phone back, and Jared wrung the boy back in with a headlock just to keep it going. He knew that after a few seconds, Evan would give up and back out, so he didn't want to let that happen. It made Heidi crack up as she came in, bearing pizza and Hawaiian punch for the boys.

"Oh, you boys. Do tell me you don't do this at school," She smiled, happy to see that her son still had a friend. Then again, that same friend was the child of her closest and kindest friends, so he'd always be there for Evan. At least, from what she knew.

By the time Heidi left, Jared shoved Evan off of him and excused himself to take a call from one of his summer-camp friends.

This left Evan sitting on the floor of his room with a lumpy cast, messed up hair, and an impending anxiety attack. Jared wasn't a friend; he was a family friend. He was an older brother who just picked on Evan all the time, and Heidi encouraged it. He couldn't say anything, couldn't 'pitch a fit' as Jared says, or do anything. And Jared had used his phone, too! To text Connor, of all people! He sat on the floor for a while, looking through the texts. There wasn't anything exactly terrible, but he still didn't want Jared using or anywhere near his phone.

After a while of finally gathering up his confidence, he messaged Connor:

**_Hi, it's Evan. I'm really sorry about Jared texting you like that. I didn't have my phone on me, and he found out my password somehow._ **

What threw him off was that he didn't get a response that night. Even as Jared made himself comfortable next to the anxious boy and flipped on a movie, Evan kept an eye on his phone, waiting for it to blink that blue light. 

He allowed his family friend to rant and story tell all throughout _The Avengers,_ which Evan really didn't mind. It was the fourth time they'd watched it together. Evan could only deal with being called original Steve Rogers for so long while Jared called himself Tony Stark.

"Connor would be The Hulk. Oh, my God. We need to do a group costume for Halloween, I fucking call it," The boy exclaimed as though he was brilliant. It wasn't a bad idea, per say. But Evan wasn't exactly sure he could do it.

"I-I mean.. He probably wouldn't do it. And.. Who else would we be able to dress up with?"

"Zoe?" Jared peeked over at him, grinning and waggling his brows. 

"No."

"Why? Afraid of seeing her in black spandex? Seeing her stretch and bend in a Black Widow outfit?" Jared's mouth seemed to just naturally run, making Evan's face heat up especially. "All these images to assist your creepy sex dreams-"

"I don't have those-"

"Or, if she came up and hung on you for sultry cosplay photos-"

"Jared,  _Stop_." 

Though, what shocked Evan, considering the boy was hiding behind his hands now, was that Jared did stop. Blinking, the boy looked up at the only person he had to call some form of a friend, confused by the fact that he seemed upset. "Are.. Are you okay?"

"Think that's something I should be asking you, Acorn."

"Acorn?"

"Your arm?"

"Oh.. Yeah- Tha-That's right."

"What the hell happened to your cast?"

Jared pulled Evan's arm over, flipping it and looking at it in his hands. It hurt terribly, and the look of it was even worse.

There were lumps and dents in the shape of a hand from Conner, but there were tilted dents at the openings of the cast. Those were from wrestling with Jared just a half hour ago. Seeing as the other boy had practically pinned him multiple times, there was very little he could do to change it.

Things were silent for a while as Jared stared at that cast and Evan's poor arm. Then, as if he couldn't speak anymore than a whisper, Jared informed him, "You're going to have to get your cast replaced. With those dents, they may not be able to get it off come six weeks from now."

Evan just nodded, wondering what made Jared so subdued then. So worried.

For the rest of the night, the brunet made Evan keep pressure off of his arm ("We don't need you swelling like a pregnant lady. We need that cast off you and changed") and sit back for the rest of the night. Sure, the taller boy didn't mind it, obviously. It was just nerve-wracking, because Jared didn't act too much like himself. His words were still similar, but the tone behind them said that he was concerned. The shorter teen even stayed the night, seeing as his mother knew Heidi longer than the boys had ever known each other. 

As they laid in Evan's bed to sleep, the blond couldn't help but wonder as he saw Jared's sleeping form.

If they were only family friends, why did Jared even care about him?

Naturally, this ended in a deep-analysis spiral ending with Evan confirming to himself that no one truly cared about him. He could disappear, and it wouldn't mean a thing. That Jared only had to act like he cared so his parents would pay for his car insurance, that's what this was. He had to act nice for Heidi to see him 'be a good friend' to Evan as she came in to get the pizza box from them. That Heidi only cared because she had to. She's his mother. That Connor didn't care about him anyway. He didn't know him; if he did, he wouldn't like him anyhow.

That night, Evan didn't fall asleep until one in the morning.


End file.
